Sexy vs Smarts

He Said

Seriously, is this topic even worth debating? Are women clueless as to what men like or want? Or are women trying to change men to fit the metrosexual version of masculinity for this new age? Well, the hell with that – I ain’t taking the bait!

“Well damn, D-, you’re just a shallow individual that can’t get past the physical vs mental attraction most of us women feel,” as stated by my friend ANY FEMALE…

Au contraire, I am only attracted to SMART women – said no one ever!

I am an unapologetically old skool, hardcore man, full of testosterone – although I am working more toward a balanced appetite in my days of maturity. But even now I can appreciate the sensual beauty of a woman, the tingling feeling she gives me when I look at her, the desire that fuels my wont to be with her and enjoy her to the fullest. Is it so wrong to want a sexy woman? No. Do I want a female that is also smart? That’s even better. But the fact is the two characteristics are usually at odds – each on one side of the spectrum. Anything in the middle becomes mundane.

I believe SEXY is in the eye of the beholder but there are a number of females that hold the standard. Each generation has its standard of sexy women. Does sex appeal intend to belittle women? No. It should not diminish the value a woman has to offer but be an extension of who she is. Over the years generations have begun to apply negative connotations to the word sexy. I may not be in agreement with the changes or standards set by generations (Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Megan Fox) but I do understand it.


And no, sexy does not purely equate to wanting sex with that individual. Heck, most men want sex with most any woman; it is always a bonus if she is sexy.

I will admit it is nice to be with a woman who is both sexy and smart. And many men might desire this pairing, although the smart women might intimidate a not-so smart man. The problem is amplified because most women believe they are both – and that’s good for your esteem but it doesn’t fit someone else’s reality.

Therefore, both characteristics are great but in my world and presumably other Neanderthals like me sexy can outweigh smarts; to each his/her own. But remember the saying “work with what you have,” because in the end there will be someone that appreciates what you bring to the table. Just spice it up a bit if you don’t mind.

She Said

Let’s see. . . where should I begin?  After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I didn’t know whether to laugh, shake my head, or just hit you.  Yeah, that’s right.  I said HIT you, Mr. Neanderthal!

It’s time for the Neanderthals of the world to EVOLVE.  When I was younger, of course, I, like all young girls of the time, wanted the Billy Dee’s and Brad Pitt’s of the world, but beyond my high school years (Okay, maybe beyond college.  Hmmm. . .   Maybe law school), I began to notice that the “pretty boys” were nice to look at, but they came with huge egos, the “player” mentality and nothing “upstairs.”  I soon bored of that and wanted some substance.

While you can be attracted to a sexy man (or woman), if he (she) brings nothing else to the table, you will quickly bore of him (her).  And if you’re of childbearing age, you have just cursed your progeny with looks but no brains.  Why don’t people think of that before they have kids?  (Another topic to explore.)  You must have both!  The true, lasting relationships have both.  Why?  Because sexiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Have you ever walked down the street and seen an outwardly beautiful/sexy person with a less than average looking person and wondered, “How did THEY get together?”  They got together because they have a connection, a connection that transcends the superficial.

Contrary to Mr. Neanderthal’s views, you can find a nice looking man (or woman) who is smart. Smart IS sexy.  Sexy is not derived just from outward beauty.  A truly mature relationship focusses on things beyond beauty on the outside.  In order to have a truly fulfilling relationship you must be attracted to the person’s mind, their essence.  If there’s no inner attraction, the relationship will not stand the test of time.  When your man (or woman) is over 50, overweight and greying, if you haven’t developed that true connection, what will keep you interested?

Finally, I take issue with Mr. Neanderthal’s premise that you can’t be sexy AND smart.  There are many women out there like me.  Lol.

1 Comment

  1. Someone brought to my attention the age old debate of who would a man prefer: Ginger or MaryAnn (Gilligan’s Island reference).


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